So far behind

This week –  no, this month – has been a real test.

We have had staff leave, new staff come on, people get sick, people threaten to leave! We have been working around the clock and keep getting asked for more and more. It’s been budget prep time, one of our busiest times for functions and events – and they all seem to be on a much larger scale than ever before!  The year is speedily racing towards Easter and that means a new term, a new season, and a whole new bunch of people and things to consider and work through as we organise our lives for the next four months. I have all too often found myself saying, “I’m so sorry I forgot to do what I promised I would do, thank you for the reminder.”

Add being sick for two weeks and then injuring my back on the weekend (it’s fine now, it was a minor injury), I’ve been less than at my best, which certainly doesn’t allow me to do my best at work for anyone I’m working with. I’ve been tired. I’m getting worn out and looking forward to a bit of respite.

I’m behind where I’d like to be. So very very far behind….

To say the least, I’ve been stressed.

I’ve discovered, in the last week or so, what I think being the manager really means.

Being ‘the manager’ or ‘the boss’ means you are responsible for the allocation, distribution and supervision of human, fiscal and physical resources.

But this week I’ve decided that it really means that you are really only responsible for managing those things when things go horribly wrong.

When things are going right, I don’t feel like I have to manage. When I am working with staff I know and trust, I don’t have to manage them, I have conversations with them and I leave them to their business. When all the boxes are checked and everything goes according to plan, there’s nothing to manage.

But when things don’t go to plan, and when I have to work with people who aren’t performing adequately, and when I have to try and figure out how to plug a giant hole in the budget and so on… well, that’s when I start managing!

And lately, I feel like I am just barely managing to manage! 🙂

Feeling physically well again makes me very happy, because I can exercise again. I have actually been really excited about exercise again! It is truly a feel-good moment in my day and I am delighted to have the time to do it in. This has helped me manage my stress quite a bit, even if it doesn’t help me take anything of my ever expanding to-do list. 🙂

So, other than exercise, one of the things I want to do to tone down my stress is to reflect on the positive things in my day that I can be happy for, so I am not focusing on the things that make me angry or make my head spin!

I got a little out of control the other day, getting really upset and bringing that into today as well. I was seriously ‘jittery’ all day with nerves and anxiety! Last night in bed I couldn’t sleep, and I really struggled to stop repeating the same imaginary conversation over and over (and OVER) in my head.

… Does anyone else do that? Rehearse and imagine and run over conversations not had, should have had or need to have? …

Anyway, as I said, I need to reflect on the positive, and shun the negative so I can have more positive energy to put into my days, and not wake up like I did today, with that horrible conversation still rolling through my mind and stressed from the moment I opened my eyes!

NOT NICE!

So, here’s the good stuff from today:

  • I have a boss who trusts and supports me
  • Almost all of the people I work with are positive, generous, honest and helpful
  • I have a deck that is no longer 1/2 finished, it’s 3/4 finished! (Okay, that’s from Saturday, but I am still delighted with it!!)
  • I went for a 4km run yesterday and it felt good! I feel renewed in my commitment to train for a marathon!
  • I have shiny new shoes 🙂
  • I have one of the two new wooden shutter blinds I ordered installed in my kitchen, and the installers only kept me waiting for 5 minutes for our appointment. Really, that’s pretty punctual service! And although one of the blinds didn’t fit correctly, and had to be taken back, I was really happy with the installers and know that they are going to look awesome!
  • I have two beautiful personal training clients who make me feel like a super hero champion, when really, I don’t feel like that most of the time. I am supposed to be there for them, but this week, they have done more for me than they know. I love their positive, hopeful interactions, and the ego boost doesn’t hurt at all!

I’m off to Body Balance, where I get to spend an hour with lovely people. I feel so good and re-calibrated at the end of a  Balance class. Between the class, and my new focus on the happy thoughts, I am going to have a peaceful night’s sleep and a happy day at work tomorrow.

How do you manage your stress?

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